Untitled.

I wakin up early, because I don't want to see the sun.  Growing up without my father has made me an emotional wreck.  I realized, I need to be loved to feel good everyday. I can't be alone for too long, I'll go crazy.  I listen to Coldplay "Your Love Means Everything" because it relaxes me, and makes me cry at  the same time... It's good to cry.  It shows you have a heart.  I don't want to cry though. I want everybody to look me and believe everything is ok.  And the truth is... it's not.  It's not now, and it never has been.  I hate crying because every tear that falls from my face starts to burn with agony.  There is no real basis for this blog.  It's not because I'm recently single, and It's not because my back has been hurting every day for the past week.  It's not even because things that have happened in my past.  I wish it would rain more often. Then I could cry in public, and seem ok.  I cried as I typed this... I just want to feel wanted.  Sometimes I feel like no one cares about me.  Maybe that's why I cry.  Maybe... Maybe...